Do you know I always feel like a loner even when I am with you? Do I like it? Well, on the high self esteem days, Yes. So what happens on the low ones? I cry it out and hold my head high after that, cleaning every iota of tear from my cheeks.
Perhaps both of us have different definitions of friendship. I know ideologies differ all the time but when one is sad, mind does not reason at all.
I make it seem like I am the only person that goes through these situations. Tense and motivating at the same time, though.
I have a confession to make, I feel insecure that I will lose you. I feel jealous when your ‘other friends’ take priority over me.
I hide myself all the time, because if you really see who I am inside, you might not like me at all. I want to be appreciated by you. Is it too much to ask?
I want you to come and ask me, what’s wrong with me when I behave weird. I want you to hug me and say ‘I am there for you’.
I hate to see you giggle with your so called friends, when I sit in my room bursting into soft sobs, trying to unburden myself while keeping it low.
So today, I want to ask you my friend, does that insecurity of not having a friend’s shoulder to cry upon linger in your heart too?
Do you (like me) constantly try to maintain a good relationship with your friend while trying to make them like you as well?
Do you cry for someone like I cry for you?
Have you ever held someone’s hand like I hold yours?
Do you have a loyalty to anyone as tight as the dedication I have shown for you?
The day of decision has arrived. I guess I am back on my self esteem.
It is not friendship where you constantly seek others approval.
It is not friendship when you hide your-self from me while I hide mine.
There will never be a friendship where only one receives while the other keeps giving.
The 3 am talks do not mean a thing if you can’t show an ounce of sympathy at 9 pm.
Dear friend, please tell me when can we have an honest conversation for once, where you don’t feel violated.
Am I wrong to trust you? Was I wrong the whole time?
I regret trying hard for you. I regret trying to be a better person for you. I want to hate you so deeply with my heart and move on, but before that I need to overcome the hatred I have for myself for not hating you at all.
They say ‘Friendship is not for the fainthearted’. Guess, that stands true beyond compare.
This is for everyone reading this. Is anyone ever capable of making the ‘true friends’? Do you also have friends who you call ‘your life’ but you feel like you’re a ‘loner like always and will always be’.
I want to cry out so loud that my heart will burst, but I can’t do that, instead I sit here writing this blog.
Despite of all this, I still want to be friends with you, still want to trust you, still want to be loyal to you and still care about you.
Please tell me, it’s right to do so.